"What can I say about the sun, the moon, and the stars?" -Joe R

On the occasion of the retirement of Vanessa Merton,
my mentor, teacher, and friend

What can I say about the sun, the moon, and the stars? The sun lights the way and provides warmth, the moon illuminates the darkness, and the stars shine brightly and show the way along an infinite path. And that is what Vanessa has been for me.

Vanessa is my mentor.
You may think that means I work constantly, don’t say no when I should, always have too many clients, students, projects, class planning, supervision sessions, not to mention… organizing, door knocking, meetings to go to! To an extent, yes, but actually, Vanessa encouraged me to practice self-care, set boundaries, and live a balanced life.
My relationship with Vanessa started in the Fall of 1983, when I entered the first class at CUNY Law, and for a couple of years, experienced Vanessa as an incredibly inspiring, dedicated member of the law school community who worked and played hard. I particularly remember, after our first simulation, we had a school wide celebration, and I saw Vanessa burst through the doors, ready to party, joyfully celebrating.
In the Fall of 1985, I joined the Health in the Workplace Clinic, and that is where everything I know about lawyering, teaching, learning, and collaborating came together in the clinic that Vanessa created with Paul O’Neil.
During that clinic year, I learned that I was going to be a parent, which of course was not in the plan, and threatened to distract me from what I thought would be a single minded focus on clinic work.
I was a bit apprehensive about how Vanessa would respond when I told her that there would be some appointments and other obligations, which I did not yet fully understand. I knew that Vanessa was, if not the first person in the office in the morning, usually the last one to leave and turn the lights out. And, knowing that Vanessa worked endless hours, and that her dedication, work ethic, and commitment were extraordinary, I wasn’t sure Vanessa would understand or be supportive of anything that might take me away from our work and clients.
I still remember very clearly—almost like it was yesterday—sitting with Vanessa, telling her that my partner Kathy was pregnant, and the baby was due in July. Instead of reminding me of my responsibilities and need to maintain my commitment to clinic work, Vanessa gave me only words of support, encouragement, and made sure that I would prioritize being a supportive partner. I left the meeting motivated, inspired, and grateful.

Vanessa is my teacher.
I have learned so much about being a lawyer, teacher, and colleague from Vanessa. She constantly reinforced the need for planning, doing, and reflecting by her words and actions. Around every lawyering activity, Vanessa encouraged and cajoled meticulous preparation, courageous action, and thoughtful introspection. She took the thoughts and feelings I expressed in writing and verbally, held them up to the light, and took me along with her to a place of deeper understanding of lawyering, the law, my clients, and myself.
I remember the first time Vanessa reviewed a piece of my writing—I may not have bled when I wrote it, but that paper was certainly bleeding red after Vanessa got through with it. Those meticulous comments showed me how to edit and proofread, pointed in concrete ways how to improve, and gave me a deep understanding of how to identify the purpose, craft the structure, and create the substance of legal documents.
As a clinical student, it was clear that Vanessa’s role truly was to guide, facilitate, and coach us as we prepared for client interviews, counseling, and hearings. Once we understood that we would actually be in role as student-attorneys, and that our supervisors would (after rigorous preparation) be observers of our lawyering activities (or even let us meet with a client on our own), it was easy to take responsibility and set high standards for ourselves.
Watching Vanessa in action, for example during our clinic’s regular collaborative meetings with doctors treating patients injured in the workplace, modeled how an attorney should be: she listened attentively, took meticulous notes, asked questions, and facilitated a cross-disciplinary dialogue. This helped me develop a professional identity and approach to work.
In the clinic, when the time came for us to represent our client at a workers’ compensation hearing, I, along with my co-counsel, sat with the opposing attorney and our client before the judge. Vanessa and Paul sat behind us. I am not sure who was more nervous: our client, us, or Vanessa and Paul. During the hearing, they passed more than a few notes to us and kept us moving forward with whispered tips in our ears. We were prepared, knew we had the support of our supervisors, and were committed to advocating and winning for our client. During subsequent and always valuable debrief and reflection, we broke down what we did well, could have improved, and how it all felt. When the favorable decision came down weeks later, we had already learned everything we needed to know about the special experience that we had all shared. And we were already preparing for the post-hearing counseling session with our client.

Vanessa is my friend.
As we know, everything is not rainbows and sunshine. It turned out that creating a public interest law school committed to teaching and learning without grades, competition, and hierarchy posed a great threat to the powers that be (and more than a few others). Vanessa paid a dear price for a low bar pass rate, rejection of traditional law school norms, and an innovative atmosphere that encouraged us to work and play hard, with rigor, creativity, mutual support, and… have fun in the process.
As we moved forward in life, our friendship and bond continued to grow: we both had kids that were the same age, and in a not so simple twist of fate, we both were clinical teachers, with Vanessa forced to go to Pace and, thanks to Vanessa, me as a one semester adjunct at CUNY Law, initially handling the remaining docket of the Health and Workplace Clinic, and then following a path that continues to this day.
We have shared many good times together with our kids and each other. Like the best of friends and family, we always pick up right where we left off: sitting in the backyard in Hastings, going out to dinner, catching some music, breaking down “what was going on” professionally, talking about clinical teaching, or just following the conversation wherever it led—usually right down to the essence of things.
With Vanessa, it always is a deep dive with lots of laughs, some tears, and that sense of security and freedom you have with somebody whom you love and trust completely. Over the years, we had a lot to discuss about our experiences at Pace and CUNY, yet it always was from the “inside out”—meaning it was first and foremost about how we were each doing personally, not what we were doing professionally.
The annual law school clinical conference was a place that we would connect outside of New York. No matter where we were or what Vanessa had planned, I always was welcome to tag along with Vanessa and Steven when he was there (and from Puerto Rico to New Orleans, my wife Kathy and Steven took in the sites, rode bikes, and caught music and lots of rain at JazzFest). Whenever I needed a friend to be with at those conferences, Vanessa was always there for me unconditionally.
Alas, my dear friend, the time has come for your retirement, perhaps long overdue, yet still an unfathomable reality. You have the rare privilege of knowing that you have made a profound impact on all those you have touched in your work and life—especially your family, students, and clients. I am happy that you will have the chance to be without work (I am sure relatively speaking)—a daunting prospect for sure, but a way of being that you have earned and richly deserve. I wish you good health and happiness and thank you for your kindness, generosity, wisdom, and love, all of which have changed the course of my life in the most meaningful and positive ways. I love you!

Joe R